SSU. For the past few months I've been an ambitious but ultimately clumsy juggler trying to keep school work, work work , family time and my pilgrimage all in the air. Getting back to school will be cathartic, a purge as the voices that all my readings have put in my head will get exercised.
I still don’t know if this is synchronicity or good planning but the 3 main tracks of this module have created a “perfect storm” for me that has left me with far more questions than answers about what I do, my vocation, and what “church” is supposed to be about.
It feels like a lot of what I've read has confirmed to me that there is another way. But the materially also makes me wonder if I only hear what I want to hear, only see in the material what I want to see. Israel had two groups of prophets in the Kingdom and those that got it right are the ones whose books we call canon today. Is it possible that the church has two groups of prophets today and we’ll only know which group is “hearing God” after a generation comes and goes?
10,000 questions are bouncing around the interior of my brain and truthfully it has been hard for me to be in the moment lately. I'm thinking about school work, school bills, things undone, things to be unlearned and I'm wondering what really important thing did I forget about today.
Prepping for this module has been rich. I've found another mentor in Gregory. Add him to my list of “witnesses”: Bonhoeffer, Nouwen, Herbert, and Buber. I've discovered the beauty of Brueggemann’s words about the prophetic imagination and find myself at odds with myself as I object to and am drawn to his vision at the same time. And the third track on counselling has been essentially asking me to figure out how broken am I. If my brain has a purée button, this module has pushed it.
But this time next week I’ll be sorting it out together with my fellow modulites. We’ll share thoughts, ask questions, be given more questions, be presented with versions of reality that are alternatives to what I've previously believed in. And it will be good.
A great big “Thank you!” to all who have kindly supported this endeavour with prayer, finance, patience and reading my reflections on this experience. After this module I will have follow up homework but no more class time. That’s happy sad for me. I will move on to my final phase where I write my thesis or project. In the midst of it all I will continue to keep you posted on what educating brian looks like. Next week I’ll be “live blogging” my module. If anyone is interested in following along there will be – roughly – 3 posts per day (short) that will attempt to sum up my education experience from each day. If you’d like to really get into the experience you could read ahead: OT prophets from Isaiah to Malachi, Gregory the Great on pastoral care and come up with a list of reasons why pastors pastor and do the things they do (hint – not all our reasons are good and sometimes our pastoring serves to cover up some personal defects we’d rather you didn't know about!).
There's a lot a still don't know but this much I'm sure of - it's a grace to be able to learn.
As always, those who'd like to help me get educated can find out information over there --> or by contacting SSU or emailing me. Thanks!