Paying for School

My ongoing adventures in life and the pursuit of more...

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Are You Here?

As a kid, my brother and I would have fun at night at my father’s expense.  Dad would almost always doze off on the floor as we watched something on T.V. together.  But it wasn't a sound sleep, he was half in and half out and we would catch snippets of his side of some interesting conversations.  Our fun came from asking him questions like, “Dad, can we take the car for a quick drive?” or “Dad, can we have a million dollars?”  He would mumble some reply and we’d roar with laughter, especially if we could get him to say, “Yes.” to one of our requests.

This morning’s session on counselling has left me wondering how often I’m in conversations without actually being there.  Being present.

I’m pretty sure how my wife, the elusive Donna, would respond to my wondering.

The heart of the wondering is not just how present I am in conversations with others but how present am I in conversations with my inner self?  Or with God’s Spirit?  Am I tuned in or am I anxious to accomplish my own agenda?

Early this morning I finished an exercise involving the voices in my head.  The internal-voices we all have but often either deny, ignore or demand silence from.  This exercise was about facilitating and then mediating a conversation among them.

Here’s a reading that went along with the conversation:

We are trying to be several selves at once without all our selves being organized by a single, mastering Life within us. Each of us tends to be, not a single self, but a whole committee of selves. There is the civic self, the parental self, the financial self, the society self, the professional self, the literary self. And each of our selves in turn a rank individualist, not cooperative but shouting out his vote loudly for himself when the voting time comes.”

If I can’t be present with myself, how can I possibly be present for others?

Where or when or with whom do you find it hardest to be present?  What would happen if you let the aspects of your personality carry on a conversation about a situation where you’re feeling stuck?

This afternoon we’re digging in deeper and then practising on each other.  Good times.

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